Our Stage in Life

It seems as though society has a set goals for people in our age bracket.  It seems as though, we should have children by now, working full time jobs, and have a house in the suburbs.  Well, we have two out of the three and are now kind of not in a rush to have the third.   We do want children, but I have to say it's freeing to know that I don't have to keep a child on a schedule and work around it.  We also desperately want to move to Nashville within the next year.  Having Andrew driving to Nashville at least once a week is really hard.  It's harder now because I don't have school to keep me busy whenever he's not at home.  I have three handsome fellas that I keep during the week that I'm enjoying my baby fever with.  I do want children, and it is hard for me to see single moms and teenagers walk around with a baby on their hip.   I struggle daily with why God allows this to happen when Andrew and I are in a committed relationship and want to bring a child up the way we were raised.  We have talked about children many times and have come to the realization that we will miss the time that we have just us.  I have to say that I really do enjoy getting to spend as much time with Andrew as I can when he's home.  Especially now that I'm not rushing off to class or have a ton of homework to do before we can spend time together.  We both want children but are waiting until God decides to give us one.  I have cried a lot over the last few weeks about our miscarriage.  I lost it one night, before Andrew left to go out of town, that at 10pm we went outside and buried the positive pregnancy test.  I have to say that it was very freeing to me to finally lay to rest our miscarriage.  I also had a moment over the weekend the night before a baby shower for a dear friend of ours.  I have to say that my miscarriage is nothing compared to what she has been through.  She has had more loss and heartache than me.  She finally had to in vitro  to get pregnant.  I cried because I was so excited that they are having a baby and for the fact that I just had a miscarriage.  The struggle of a miscarriage is real and unknown to many because they haven't had one.  I will have to say that I'm working through it and praying hard to get over it.   I have always wanted to be a mom and will get there when God allows.  I have to also admit that I lost my composure in Thailand in a market when I heard an 8 week old baby cry.  I really wanted to ask if I could hold the baby but didn't have an interpreter there  to help me.   I decided to write this post because I'm sick of society telling us what is normal for people our age.  When did society tell us what we should and should not do? I want to be able to tell my children that it's ok not to go along with society and that making your own way is just fine.  I'm not trying to offend anyone but come on.  Allow us to be the adults that we are and not put any pressure on us to follow what society says is normal for people our age.  Andrew and I have a great life and are enjoying it.  He has a really cool job and I'm enjoying staying at home so I can see him when he is at home.   I know we have been together for a long time and that we should already have a baby but it's not in our hands.  It's in God's hands on when He allows for us to have the next stage in life.


I want to leave this post with a bit of scripture that was in one of my quite times this week.  Habakkuk 2:3 (New American Standard Bible) "For the vision is yet for the appointed time; It hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; For it will certainly come, it will not delay."