Saturday.....

Today I decided to clean my house and work on cleaning out the Jeep for our drive home tomorrow. I'm excited about going to see our families this weekend. We actually get to stay a little bit longer than what we normally do.
Casper the last few days has enjoyed sleeping under our bed at night. I have no idea why he wants to sleep there. You would think that it's too crowded to even think about sleeping in. He loves it! Look at some of the pictures that I took of it (sorry some are a little dark):



Slowly starting to come out!! And I do mean slowly!! Andrew had to call him like 10x's to get him to start to even come out!!

He got a little stuck!!

He had to rest after getting stuck!!

Finely out!! Yay!!

Going to see Daddy and what he was doing! I think he was trying to tell him take me out!!

Well, since he wouldn't get up to take me out... I'm going back to sleep on Mamma's pillow!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------
My Mom came to sit with me that morning before my scope test. They finely came and got be at about 8. I was nervous and scared. Andrew gave me something the first time I was in the hospital to help with that. He's name is Mason.

I couldn't take him down stairs with me, but I knew my mom would take care of me. Also I was nervous about going places by myself. Once I got down stairs, I had a friend that worked for Dr. Guyton at the hospital when he did his testing. It was so good to Jackie!! She took really good care of me.
I was brought back to my room after 5 hours. I remember coming up and seeing Cathy and Grandma Lee in the room. After I said hello, I rolled over and went to back to sleep. Woke up at about 2:30 that afternoon. It wasn't long after that that Dr. Guyton came in to tell me what he thought about what he saw. I called Andrew and put him on speaker phone so he could hear what was going on. Dr. Guyton told me that my colon was more far off than he thought. He said that it was killing me but not in so many words. He also told me that there was nothing else that he could do for me. I then started to cry. Cathy sat with me on my bed and wanted to cry with me. The only thing that he could do was for me to transfer to Birmingham. He was going to push for whatever I wanted. The two opinions that he gave me were a study drug or to have my whole colon removed and have a bag for a few months. He couldn't really tell me anymore about the surgery because he had never done it and didn't want to tell me anything that wasn't true. I was still crying at this point. I felt as though I had lost my best friend. I asked him what I should do. I was still in shock about the whole thing that I couldn't think for myself. He said that the best thing to do was to have the surgery. He also wanted to start me on TPN which is a protein milkshake that was given through IV Pic Line. I told him that I wanted to think about the surgery and could he get back to me on Monday about what we were going to do. By this point I forgot that Andrew was even on the phone.
I got on the phone with him and told him that he needed to come home because this was not a conversation that I wanted to carry out over the phone. I wanted to see his reaction to all the things that they wanted to do. I was thankful that Cathy and Grandma were there to help me hear what he had to say. They both kept telling me that this was what we all have been praying for! It's a masked blessing. All I could think of was the scars, how Andrew would look at me, and is it really worth all the trouble.
I called my parents and told them what he had said. They both called Brandon to ask how it went for him. Brandon was a great help to us during this time. My parents called his parents a lot.
I went down to radiology to have the Pic Line started. That was a scary thing to have in. It was in my right arm and was my new IV. It's one that can stay in for 8 weeks if need be and has about twelve inch line that goes straight to the heart. I felt everything they pushed as soon as they pushed it in. I was feeling very loopy every because of that. Not to long into my journey with the pic, I began to like it because they could draw blood out of it instead of sticking me!! I had become such a pin cushion. The vampires came out at 3 every morning. The lab people were vampires in my opinion. They woke me up every time!!
The TPN was a twenty-four hour milkshake. What I was missing in my blood work or what was low; they would put it in my milkshake. It was gross to look at. The pic did hurt, and it was hard to get used to. I still hadn't had a good shower in over a week. What is it with the hospital about not letting their patients have showers?!
My grandparents also came to check on me that day and to find out what was going on the test results. They came right before dinner was being brought around. I was starving!! I was happy to see the plate when they brought it in, but when I asked my grandmother to open and see what it was; I turned white as a ghost. I told her really fast that it had to go! I couldn't even stand for it to be in my room. She had to carry out in the hall. My CNA noticed and came running to my room to make sure I was going to be ok. She told my nurse that I really needed something both for pain and nausea. I felt bad about somewhat yelling at my grandmother, but if the food would have sat here much longer I was going to be sick. I have told my grandmother that I was sorry for how I acted. She told me that she didn't even think twice about how I talked to her about it. That made my day!!
Once Andrew got there on Sunday, he walked in; I looked at him and cried again!! I told you I had become cry baby! We had a long conversation about the surgery. I don't remember if I told you that we had started to talk about the surgery December of 2008, but we both had no idea that was going to happen six months after we had the first conversation about it!! All of this was moving to fast! I was losing control and still was asking God why. We decided that Dr. Guyton should push for the surgery when he called UAB to get me a bed over there.
That next week was one of the longest weeks in my life. I wanted so bad to get out of the Tupelo hospital and see something new. Andrew went back to work because he wanted to take the whole time off that I was in Birmingham. The week keeps getting crazier.

Let the Journey Continue....

As I'm looking back on today of last year, I'm wishing that I would have started blogging sooner. I enjoy typing my thoughts, but I think it would have been better for you all to read this as it was happening, but I can't change the past only the future.
This day last year, I was scared, nervous, and shy all at the same time. I know you're thinking Ambere shy no way! I was. Mainly due to the fact that I was shy to tell my dr. what I really felt because I knew he wouldn't take me serious. Dr. Guyton came into my room really early that morning to tell me that he was going to send me home because what I was doing in there, taking meds for pain, nausea, and MORE steroids, I could do at home. I was just praying God please don't let them send me home I don't want to go home. I never thought that I would want to stay in the hospital for more than a week, but I didn't feel right! So as I was waiting to get home, I noticed a difference in my temperature. I called my CNA to my room and asked if she could check my temp. She came back about five minutes later to check it. I was running about 104, and I was yes!! I don't have to go home!!! I know you're thinking I'm weird, but I haven't felt good in a long time, and I wanted to be fixed. I was not leaving the hospital until they did something. Get this I was two signatures from being discharged. God works in weird ways. I knew my parents were worried about me, Andrew, my in laws, and my extended family. When I called to tell them that I wasn't going to go home to day, I could feel the disappointment in all of them. Andrew was on my side. He didn't want me home until I was up to my old self again. He didn't know how long that would take and didn't care other than me being me again.
Later that after noon, Dr. Guyton came back in and told me that he wanted to scope me again. I was like great. Now, I have to drink that Go Lightly stuff that doesn't make you go lightly at all. They seriously need to change that name!! I may write the company someday in the future! Dr. Guyton said no that I didn't have to drink that stuff this time!! Yah me!! He wanted an enema instead. I don't know why I needed to take anything. I hadn't eaten a good meal in over a month now, and everything I did eat came up or out! So I called everyone again to tell them now what was going on. The schedule was for my mom to come and sit until they took me down stairs to do run the scope, and Cathy and Grandma Lee were coming to sit with me at about 10 so my mom could go to work. They all wanted for me to have someone in the room when Dr. Guyton came back in to tell me the results.
I'm glad I had someone with me. Later that night at about midnight my CNA came in to give me the enema, and I cried the whole time. I would have much rather had the Go Lightly stuff.
I know you're wondering where Andrew was. I let him work as much as he could because I just knew that the medical bills where still coming. He I knew that I was being taken care of because I had my mom and his mom there to help. I really needed them too. You would think that I had this hospital thing down by now, but I still forgot things such as deo and body wash. I knew that if I asked the hospital for it; I would have been charged out the butt for it. I was calling them like every other day to bring me stuff that I forgot. I had no idea that my life would change as much as it did.
During all of this time, all I could do is beg God, "Why me? What have I done to hurt You? Why am I the only one in my family that I know of that has this disease? Why God Why?" That was me every other day. I knew my heart wasn't where it needed to be, and my walk was far from where it needed to be.
I also enjoyed all the phone calls, Facebook wall posts, and text messages. If I ignored you please don't take it personal. Most of the time I just wanted to be left alone. I knew that you were just wanting to check on me, but I was in no mood to talk. I would have much rather had the text messages or Facebook post more than anything. Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers for my family and I during this difficult time.

Andrew's Grandmother

I'm writing this blog with a heavy heart and mind. Andrew's grandmother, Ophelia, was diagnosed with inoperable liver cancer yesterday. They can't really do anything for her. It's a very sad day for my family and I. We had know idea that anything was wrong. She means so much to just. There is a treatment that they can do but money is one of the biggest issues. I just hope we can find a way to help with it. I'm asking my readers to help us by praying for us. God is the biggest miracle worker, and I know He can do something if it's His will. We are going to visit this weekend and pictures will be posted as soon as we get back!! Please just remember us in your prayers. God bless you and your family!! Thanks!!

Weekend, Church Picnic, and others

We had a busy weekend!! Good thing Andrew didn't have a show this weekend!! Friday night, we don't remember what we did!! I know it's bad but oh well!! Saturday, I cleaned, laid in the tanning bed, and cooked for the church picnic. I also cooked chicken and dumplings for supper. They were good, but they were a little bit runny than I normally make!! I don't know what happened to them! They are one of Andrew's favorite meals, and mine too!! I also attempted to make my first cake from scratch!! It flopped, but it tasted good!! Here's a picture of what the first one looked like:

I'm all about presentation when it comes to cooking!! I watch way to much Food Network! So, on Sunday afternoon I decided to make another cake. It turned out great. I took a picture of it too, but I forgot to get it before everyone started to dig into it!!

Sorry!! But it was a hit!! I'm going to make one again to take to the family event this weekend!! I know that they are going to love it.
Also at the church picnic, the guys wanted to play. Like they don't play everyday of the week! They played Ultimate Frisbee and some tennis. Andrew played both, and he was a little sore this morning! The ladies sat around and talked. It was a lot fun!! Everyone was asking questions about what was going on with me last year at this time, and I was getting to share! I really do enjoy talking about what happened because it gives me time to share about what God has done for me. Here are a few pictures of the guys playing(there are a few girls that got into the Ultimate Frisbee game):



Andrew did play some tennis for the first time in a few years! I can't believe he let Brian beat him! I think there may be a rematch in the future!!
I also had the perfect picnic basket to take with me! I know a few people will not like it, but who cares!! We're back and there's nothing you can do about it!! RTR!!!


---------------------------------------------------
What was going on last year during this time last year? At this time, I missed my sister-in-law's high school graduation and spending time with my extended family on that side. I really wished I could have been there than where I was.
I also remember having my mom and sister there to help me clean up a bit. They had been shopping and bought me some of my favorite bath and body works body wash. As soon as I started using it, it made me nauseous!! A few seconds later, I started to throw it up!! I hated to make my sister upset, but I could not even stand the scent of it and the thought of it on me made me sick. I have never had this reaction to the body wash before now. It was awful.
My nurses were great. I had this one CNA who would come to my room and help me clean up as well. She was so nice. Diane was her name. She would adventure off the floor to find me chocolate milk and the smallest hospital gown that she could find. I had plenty of gowns of my own, but when I couldn't make it the bathroom in time it was just easier to mess theirs up other than mine. I also was wearing Depends due to that same reason. I never thought in a million years that at 21 I would lose control over my body like I did. It sucked!! By the end of my stay, I knew almost everything about all my nurses. I got nosy with all of them. I knew how many kids they had, married, single, divorced, where they went to nursing school, if they had an Associates Degree or Bachelor's, and if they were going to get a Bachelor's. I had the 411 on all of them. I loved getting to know them. One nurse that I had back in October of 2008, was a graduate of the University of Alabama!! I know that she had a great education just because of where she graduated from!! She was just like me!! She loves Alabama Football!! My night nurse that I had was great as well. I can't remember her name. I do remember that she had a daughter who was a freshman at Ole Miss, and her had had colon surgery. When I found that I out, I started asking questions about that. I also told her that I was thinking about going to have the surgery myself because I couldn't do every six months in the hospital. Reasons being I couldn't afford it, and I had a life other than being in the hospital. She was just like another mother to me!!
I had great visits with friends that I hadn't seen in awhile. One was Hugh Daddy. He was a youth leader that I had when I was in the youth at First Baptist Verona. He was someone I could talk about anything too! He was just like my dad is to me! I loved getting to see him again and sharing a moment with him!
Another friend that came to visit me was Mike Garmon. I went to school with him at ICC. He is now a graduate of Ole Miss with a degree in Elementary ed. He was such a great friend!! He was the one who brought me my coloring book and crayons!! I was so excited to have something to do other than walk the halls, watch tv, and stay on Facebook!! I loved the coloring book. It kept my mind off of all the bad things going on in my life. Thanks again Mike for the coloring book! I think that some of my nurses where nervous to see him in my room. I think they came to check on us like twice! He has a great sense of humor at I needed at that time!!