Let the Journey Begin....

Last year today started my over a month long visit to the hospital. I had went to the dr. the day before, and she said that everything was ok, so she let me go. Well at about 2:30 the very next afternoon, I called her crying. I was running a very high fever like 104, and I was telling her that I wanted to go back into the hospital. She said come on and go to the ER for Rapid Admit, and she also said "I knew I should have kept you yesterday." Her gut feeling was kicking in I guess. I just needed someone to drive me. I was in no shape, form, or fashion to drive. I was crying like an idiot, and I didn't feel well at all. So, I called Paige and Christine to come sit with me for awhile until Andrew got home. During this time, several people started to call me to check on me and tell me that I need to drive myself. I was not in a stable condition to drive myself, or I would have. They didn't want Andrew to lose his job over this. If someone would get fired over something like this then they shouldn't have been working at that job in the first place. I know I made a few people mad, but Andrew was my husband, and he married me for sickness and in health. This was definitely that!! Once he got here, we debated on which hospital to go too. Should we stay here and go to one in Memphis or go back to Tupelo where they really didn't seem to care to help me get any better. It was a nightmare! I called my dr. in Tupelo to get her opinion, and she talked me into coming back to Tupelo. This was about 5:30, and we still had a two hour drive to Tupelo. It was so heckit and crazy. Andrew was mad the whole ride there, and he barely said a word. I cried most of the way because I was tried of going back and forth to the hospital and didn't want Andrew to be mad at me!! I mean could they not fix me!!?? Once we got there, all of my favorite nurses where on rotation that week!! I was excited to see them, and they were me but not under the conditions that I was in. My parents were waiting on me when I got to my room. It was so good to see my daddy!! I know that I should have been excited to have just Andrew there, but I'm truly a daddy's girl and always will be!! Also our good friend, Luke, was there to visit. It was great to see him. He's a pre-med major at MSU. He's going to be a great dr. someday!!
I had no idea that what was going to happen next. I just knew that I wanted to be better and get on with my life. I finished my second semester at Ole Miss with 2 B's and a d! I was not proud of any of those grades, and I kept asking God why? Why are you doing this to me? Will I ever get over this? Can you please help? My marriage is awful. (Not because of being mad at each other just that everything had stopped, and I do mean everything for about 3 months!! He told me this later, but it goes in here. He told me that him working was his escape! It makes me cry just thinking about it. He was tried of me crying myself to sleep, crying all day, and sleeping most of the day! He wanted to help but didn't know how. He also said that he thought that he was going to lose me, and he didn't know how to act around me. Every little thing made me cry!! I'm not big on crying, but I was then. We also fought a lot during this time!) My house was a wreck, cooking was not done, and I could have cared less about everything. I just knew that I wanted something to be done, but I didn't know what!
I know this was putting a strain on everybody in my family and in Andrew's. I know that I wanted to stop the steroids and get back to my happy married life!! I wanted to move on but couldn't because UC was killing me literally!