So where are we now?

Andrew and I had a great Christmas and New Years.  It was Andrew's first New Year's that he has been off since we were married almost seven years ago.  2014 had a lot of heart aches for us and 2015 hasn't really started off that great either.   On December 30,  I had a test ran.  I left the appointment thinking everything was great and I didn't have anything to worry about.  Well three days later,  I received a phone call from my dr's nurse.  He looked at the results and discovered that I have scar tissue that has formed from the D&C I had last May which was more than likely the reason that I miscarried the last baby.  This was definitely something that I didn't want to hear.  I'm sick of having surgeries, having blood drawn every time I walk into a dr's office, and being looked at by everyone in the clinic at some point.  This struggle for me has been the most depressing thing ever.  It hasn't become any easier to see teen moms.  We let our satellite TV go which made me happy.  I will not put myself through the torturer of watching those stupid reality shows that I have in the past.  It's not worth me crying over.

For Andrew, he feels as though we can't get ahead in anything at the moment.  After two job loses in two months,  he has had a tremendous amount of stress on him. Adding the medical bills that are beginning to pile up due to Fertility appointments aren't helping either of us.

We have tons of questions at are going unanswered and trying to do the right thing.  I know God has a plan.  I will have to admit that I can see now why we didn't have the first baby.  We have enough stress as it is without having to add a newborn.  We walked into church last Sunday with our heads hanging low because of the hand we have been dealt over the last few moments.  We were greeted by the children's pastor's wife and was asked how the whole Fertility process was going.  I told her and began to tear up.  She immediately prayed over us and we both just cried the whole time.  It was an amazing experience to have someone that I barely know pray such a sweet prayer over my womb and the future family that we so desperately want to have.  She knows exactly what we are going through and has been praying for us since the moment we met.  Life's tough but having someone walk beside you and you know is praying for you makes the struggle just a little bit easier.