Let the Journey Continue....

As I'm looking back on today of last year, I'm wishing that I would have started blogging sooner. I enjoy typing my thoughts, but I think it would have been better for you all to read this as it was happening, but I can't change the past only the future.
This day last year, I was scared, nervous, and shy all at the same time. I know you're thinking Ambere shy no way! I was. Mainly due to the fact that I was shy to tell my dr. what I really felt because I knew he wouldn't take me serious. Dr. Guyton came into my room really early that morning to tell me that he was going to send me home because what I was doing in there, taking meds for pain, nausea, and MORE steroids, I could do at home. I was just praying God please don't let them send me home I don't want to go home. I never thought that I would want to stay in the hospital for more than a week, but I didn't feel right! So as I was waiting to get home, I noticed a difference in my temperature. I called my CNA to my room and asked if she could check my temp. She came back about five minutes later to check it. I was running about 104, and I was yes!! I don't have to go home!!! I know you're thinking I'm weird, but I haven't felt good in a long time, and I wanted to be fixed. I was not leaving the hospital until they did something. Get this I was two signatures from being discharged. God works in weird ways. I knew my parents were worried about me, Andrew, my in laws, and my extended family. When I called to tell them that I wasn't going to go home to day, I could feel the disappointment in all of them. Andrew was on my side. He didn't want me home until I was up to my old self again. He didn't know how long that would take and didn't care other than me being me again.
Later that after noon, Dr. Guyton came back in and told me that he wanted to scope me again. I was like great. Now, I have to drink that Go Lightly stuff that doesn't make you go lightly at all. They seriously need to change that name!! I may write the company someday in the future! Dr. Guyton said no that I didn't have to drink that stuff this time!! Yah me!! He wanted an enema instead. I don't know why I needed to take anything. I hadn't eaten a good meal in over a month now, and everything I did eat came up or out! So I called everyone again to tell them now what was going on. The schedule was for my mom to come and sit until they took me down stairs to do run the scope, and Cathy and Grandma Lee were coming to sit with me at about 10 so my mom could go to work. They all wanted for me to have someone in the room when Dr. Guyton came back in to tell me the results.
I'm glad I had someone with me. Later that night at about midnight my CNA came in to give me the enema, and I cried the whole time. I would have much rather had the Go Lightly stuff.
I know you're wondering where Andrew was. I let him work as much as he could because I just knew that the medical bills where still coming. He I knew that I was being taken care of because I had my mom and his mom there to help. I really needed them too. You would think that I had this hospital thing down by now, but I still forgot things such as deo and body wash. I knew that if I asked the hospital for it; I would have been charged out the butt for it. I was calling them like every other day to bring me stuff that I forgot. I had no idea that my life would change as much as it did.
During all of this time, all I could do is beg God, "Why me? What have I done to hurt You? Why am I the only one in my family that I know of that has this disease? Why God Why?" That was me every other day. I knew my heart wasn't where it needed to be, and my walk was far from where it needed to be.
I also enjoyed all the phone calls, Facebook wall posts, and text messages. If I ignored you please don't take it personal. Most of the time I just wanted to be left alone. I knew that you were just wanting to check on me, but I was in no mood to talk. I would have much rather had the text messages or Facebook post more than anything. Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers for my family and I during this difficult time.